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Ego Is The Enemy:What, exactly, is Ego?!: If you ask most people, they will say, "arrogance." But the truth is, arrogance is just one of many ways that the human Ego manifests itself. There are countless others...
- Low Self-Esteem
- Taking things personally
- Comparing ourselves to others
- Seeking approval from others
- Feeling superior to others
- Wanting credit for your actions
- Putting people down and gossiping
- Showing off
- Being a know-it-all
- Trying too hard to be funny...
- (Thanks, Tricia Nelson for this awesome list!)
Clovis Examples of Ego:
If you've ever shared a Before and After picture after losing weight, stop and ask yourself... "Why did you post it?"
Let’s be honest with each other with a thought experiment. Think about your average day, scrolling your Facebook or Instagram feed… when you see someone’s post with their before and after picture talking about their new amazing diet… or this incredible new fat loss supplement… you roll your eyes. Guaranteed. That’s the truth. Probably even more so now that you’re Clovis. You think to yourself, “they’re doing it wrong. It won’t last.” blah blah blah
So, if that’s the way you see other people’s posts… why would expect other people look at your posts any differently?!
They do the exact same thing… Or worse, they leave a snarky comment, and before you know it you’re in a full-blown public debate on your FB page like a couple of 4-year-olds fighting over a toy…
That defensiveness you feel… That’s all Ego. They made you feel stupid and now you must avenge that dishonor and prove how smart you are!!! But you’re in an un-winnable argument. Everyone is losing with each passing second.
It's Hard Out There for Parents!:
I see this happen all the time with parents who stop feeding their kids junk food… These Clovis clients may be strong enough to handle the nay-sayers when it’s their own personal diet, but when people attack their parenting… all bets are off.
They absolutely lost their minds! Other parents WILL judge. They will make comments, call you out in public places, try to debate you with questions they know you can’t answer to expose you as some sort of fraud.
What you are hearing in your head is...
- “you are a bad parent.”
- “You are not good for this child.”
- “You are stupid.”
- “you are less-than.”
- “you are not good enough.”
That’s what your Ego is hearing…
And your defenses are up and you’ve got smoke coming out of your ears and you feel the need to defend yourself. But stop and think…
What would life be like if you really didn’t care what other people think?
And half of you are going to yell at your screen right now and say, “I don’t care what they think! They’re all stupid! I’m smart!”
Those of you screaming the loudest right now have the biggest Ego. It’s like the punk rocker who takes an hour every morning to put his hair up in liberty spikes to prove he doesn’t care what people think. That dude cares the most… even though nobody cares what his hair is like.
Let me explain… Nobody cares about your journey. Nobody cares about your kids. Except you…
You may be laying in bed, having trouble falling asleep because you’re stewing over what your co-worker said to you at the company party."How dare she insult my parenting? I’ll show her next time!" You start reliving the argument and rehearsing all the smart things you could have said to shut her down… All the things you’ll say next time! Next time you’ll get her!! You’ll show her…
And across town, your co-worker is sound asleep, snoring like a bear, and they don’t even remember what they said to you because they were 4 glasses of wine in with a belly full of chicken fried steak when they said it.
I promise you. They don’t care. Nobody cares.
You lost in this scenario. You’re the one losing sleep. That is all Ego.
Nobody Care... Except...:
Nobody cares, except you… and me. And your Clovis family.
Us. We Are Clovis.
I don’t really care what the others are. If they aren’t Clovis, they aren’t ready. I don’t devote my time and energy to them, I devote it to you… I want to say that again...
I devote my time and energy to you and your family.
You see me in some way shape or form inside of the Clovis Community 7 days per week. I’ve done 50 weeks straight of AMA’s, a few of them while on vacations! Imagine if I was busy wasting time trying to change the minds of haters?!
Every second you spend fighting is a second you've wasted, when you could have been helping people who actually want help!
When you share your success inside of the Clovis groups… that’s a smart move. We all get it. You’re speaking to your tribe… You’re inspiring people who cared enough to at least join the group! You’ve inspired them to take the next step!!
When you share your success outside of Clovis… You better be prepared. And I’m telling you right now, most of you do not have the proper mindset to go out and do that… Yet. Because you do care what others think!
Let’s do another quick thought exercise…
What scenario is better?
A - You publish your "look at me" before and after post?! With a side by side picture. The ugliest one you could find next to the prettiest one you could find with dates printed on both… 3 months into your Clovis journey… Basically begging for likes and brownie points…
Or a different scenario…
B- In June 2018 you post a picture in your swimsuit on your annual family vacation. Then in June 2019, you post a picture in your swimsuit on your annual family vacation and you don’t say a word about health, wellness, nutrition, or anything about transformation.
Which one will lead to more congratulations and back patting? Think about it. You need to stop pretending that your before and after posts are attempting to help others. They simply are not.
If you really want to help people by sharing, send me your testimony before and after pictures directly to my email, and I will put you in front of more eyeballs in a week then you could do yourself in a year. But that’s not actually what you want…
You want those posts on YOUR PAGE so you can rub in the faces of the assholes in your life who doubt you… Your skinny sister or your mom or your coworker who’s been teasing you about your weight for 10 years. That is who you’re posting for. We need to get super honest about these things.
So, I’m not saying don’t share… I’m saying, share properly! Only you know your heart. When you sit down to write your next success post, just stop and think, quietly, for a few extra seconds before you post. Re-read that caption you wrote. If you really analyze it, does it sound anything like...
“Look how great I am and how stupid all the fat people are for working out and counting calories”
If it sounds anything like that, don’t post it. You will not help Clovis. You will not help anyone.
I’m interested in building Our Tribe. And Our Tribe includes very specific types of people. And you are one of them. I don’t need the masses, I need the Clovis Tribe. I’m not worried about everyone… I’m worried about the few. I’m worried about my Tribe. That’s it.
Stop seeking external validation and start living your life for YOU.